i was wrong to think a cowboy mouse was adorable

If you were ever a child in Latin America or grew up in a Latin American home, you've heard of Cri-Cri. He is the equivalent of Jiminy Cricket down south and sings about vowels, ugly dolls, and other hilarious topics enjoyed by Spanish-speaking children. My parents have home videos of me performing entire Cri-Cri tapes, so when I started teaching Spanish to the kiddies, I was so excited to relive this part of my childhood. With the convenience provided by YouTube, I immediately found an accompanying video for the song I wanted to use in my lesson. The song is about a cowboy mouse who gets locked up but can't do anything about it because he only speaks English and everyone around him speaks Spanish. A hilarious and adorable video, if you ask me.

Most kids seemed to share my sentiment and requested that next class, I play it again. Pleased with myself, I welcomed my last class of the day into my classroom, the older 4's.

I played the video and immediately after, a little hand shot up in the air.

"Yes Jordan?"

"Miss Kathy, have you heard of the National Rifle Association?"

Uhhh yeah...have you 4-year-old??

"Well Miss Kathy, I just think he should have those guns registered."

Oh okay, I'll have his permits faxed over to you.

Seriously, what??? I know my parents had adult conversations around me when I was this kid's age, but I never actually paid attention. I was too preoccupied with perfecting my popular girl handwriting or probably pasting Lisa Frank stickers to my walls. WHAT IS THIS?

For the record, I hate overpunctuation but these kids are making me break all my rules. I feel the only way to convey my emotions is by using more than one question mark. I'm sure I'll break some other rule shortly.

life after death?

It's been my experience that when I enter a room filled with pre-schoolers, I instantly become the most fascinating novelty. I will enter and am automatically surrounded by 12+ high-pitched little voices calling for my attention--they tend to be delivering earth-shattering news. Somehow, along with the tugging of my legs, this never gets old. In fact, it's definitely been quite an ego boost.

But I digress! Upon one of these said entrances, I randomly chose to focus on one little girl's story about her family vacation. Just as she was about to tell me all about the new outfits she had gotten while in Arkansas (the nation's fashion capital! I MEAN, COME ON MISS KATHY!), I felt a not-so-subtle tug on my skirt. I turned around and looked down at a very angry and scrunched up face.

"Miss Kathy! I'm TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING! Some people think that when you die, you come back as something else. It's called reincarnation. You should probably read a book about it for when you die."-Hunter, age 3

Why that sounds delightful. I've been meaning to do some light reading...

Eeestop Your Crying

This was about my third day on the job and I walked into a classroom to this.

SCENE: Kids going crazy all over the classroom and the little trouble-making boy who I've been previously introduced to as Steve, is already at the thinking table...
Teacher's Explanation: "They haven't been outside in months, so they're starting to lose it." Umm...ok?

Just as I'm about to settle in, among the chaos, I hear loudly and clearly:
"I WILL F@%^ YOU UP!"-Katherine, age 3.*
As I get over my disbelief for this little girl's potty mouth, I shuffle her over to a makeshift time out area as Steve is already occupying the thinking table. Just as I sit her down--at this point, Darling Katherine is kicking and screaming--I hear another loud little voice scream, "I WILL BEAT YOUR A$#!"-Morgan, age 3*

I'm literally about to lose it because umm, hello? Why are these kids so angry?? As I move to place Morgan in yet another new time out chair, Katherine has gotten angrier and louder with her tantrum. Steve, who is from Russia and hardly speaks English, gets out of his seat at the thinking table and in a thick accents states the following to angry little Katherine:
"Eeestop your crying. No one wants to hear you cry anymore." And retreats back to the TT (I will now refer to the thinking table as the TT because I feel like it will become a commonly used word in my stories), as if his business is finished. Well, I couldn't have said it better myself. She was starting to get on my one big nerve.

Welcome to teaching, I suppose.


*I normally don't sensor profanity but coming from a 3-year-old, I just can't bring myself to spell it out.